Take the leap.

This post I will reblog one of my earlier posts; ‘If you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?’ and add some new stuff at the end about taking the leap and speaking about ‘what ifs’.

‘This post is going to be one that, I’m sorry, is slightly philosophical… but also one of the most important things that I think I will ever write and I’m just gonna dive straight in; ask yourself, if you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today? And by that, I don’t mean, not turn up to work.

What I do mean is, first of all, don’t go to bed mad with people you could make up with, they could be gone tomorrow… If there is anyone that you wouldn’t want to die without making up with, sort it out now. We don’t know what life is going to throw at us, we could all die tomorrow. You could literally walk out your front door, cross the road and get hit by a bus. I know that sounds dark and pessimistic but it’s true.

That friend who you argued with the other week and still haven’t made up with, that guy you used to be friends with, tried dating and now it’s weird, just sort it out. Talk to them, even just one conversation could make you feel so much better.

Which brings me to my second point, do not have bad blood. It is toxic and will seriously get you down and be a huge negative impact on your life. If you reconcile with those who you have bad blood with, discuss your problems and do not leave things without sorting them out, it will make you feel so much better. You may not even realise that it’s weighing you down but our lives are so busy and what we do is so time consuming, we rarely have time to think long and hard about what may be negatively impacting our lives and moods.

Even while saying this, I understand that there are some things that can’t be reconciled. If feel totally ok even though there are problems between you and someone and you would be totally ok without reconciling with them before you die, then fine. But I stand by what I said, bad blood is toxic and dealing with this will lift a weight you didn’t even know existed.

On a similar but slightly different point, if there is someone that you are in love with or even have feelings for, for the love of God literally just tell them! This links to another post I’m going to write about relationships so watch this space.

Then, if you love someone, tell them. I see so often that people say, ‘oh I have been in love with [insert name here followed by hopeless sigh] for [insert insanely long time]’. If you love someone, and you haven’t told them the most likely reason is that you’re scared of rejection. If they turn you down or say that they don’t reciprocate your feelings, then yeah, it’s going to be really rough for a while. But then at least you know! Not knowing and living in a constant stasis of limbo is going to be even more destroying than the pain of rejection. Then you can move on with your life, time heals all wounds, and you will be annoyed at yourself for waiting so long to address the problem! You will feel so much better, a weight will have been lifted that you didn’t even know that was there. For your own sakes, just do it!

Be happy, love life, spread the love and release the hate.’

Moving on to the new ideas, if you have an opportunity and you don’t take it, do you really want to live the rest of your life wondering what would have happened, what could have been, if you would have been so much happier or so much better off if you’d just taken that leap.

You’re scared that something’s not going to work out. But are you willing to not take the chance that you could miss out on something incredible, just on the off chance that it won’t? Really? If none of us ever took any leaps of faith then we would never accomplish anything, we would never get that new job, create that new friendship, find that new joy in life, we would never fall in love.

Are you willing to risk future happiness because you were too scared to take the chance. No, it might not work out. It might crash and burn. But it could be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.

You’re worried that you’ll regret it? Trust me when I say you will regret it more not taking the chance at all. Just go for it before the chance disappears and you’re left with the unknowing of what it could have been.

If you have unfinished business or there’s something in your life that you know be amazing and you don’t take the chance. That will eat away at you for the rest of your life, always in the back of your mind; what could have been.

You owe it to yourself to take the chance.

 

 

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Travelling alone, what people don’t tell you. 

Travelling alone according to every millennial article you will read will, is supposed to be the most amazing, perfect and life changing experience of your life. Whenever I asked people what it was like to travel alone, they never hinted that there was any down side.The truth is, it is amazing, it is life changing but it is far from perfect.When travelling alone, I was confronted with something that I’ve never had to face before and that was being alone. Like really being alone and isolated. Before I went away, when I was at uni, if I came home to an empty house where all my housemates were out, I’d get really down and lonely, even if it was for just a few hours. And if you’re like me and get lonely like that, odds on you’ll find this whole new level of loneliness really hard. Some people are ok with that but personally I’ve never been very good at spending lots of time by myself.

People would ask me if I ever got lonely when travelling and the truth is of course I did. Especially when there was a night or so when there was a few nights and I ended up being in a room on my own for various reasons. You don’t have your friends, family and support network right beside you like you normally do. You have your phone sure but with time difference and stuff that’s not always gonna work out well.

A lot of the time I felt like I didn’t have a ‘safe place’ to run to when it all got a bit much and have no shoulder to cry on. But as a friend told me, you have to make ‘yourself’ your own safe place. Easier said than done, especially when you’re in a scary place but true all the same. It took a while but I think I did it. You have to be ok with being on your own and be less dependent on the company of others. And you have to be able to be friends with yourself and be able to enjoy your own company.

One of the biggest things I was faced with was making all the decisions. More importantly, if something went wrong, it was all on me. I would have to find a solution and fix it. It was scary but you know, it forced me to grow up and take responsibility.

I made to be ok with actually spending time by myself, it was really hard at first but it got easier. When I wrote the first draft of this, I was chilling in a restaurant, eating, drinking and writing this by myself, which I know a lot of people do but I’ve never been very comfortable with it, and I was totally fine, I didn’t mind it at all.

If given the choice I would always choose to spend a night with friends than alone and I think I will always be that way. However I think the crucial element here is that there will be some times that you will be alone.You won’t always be fortunate to spend all your free time with loved ones, you will spend some days alone.

I know I’m making travelling alone sound less than appealing but it really wasn’t. Travelling alone forced you to make lots of friends which I wouldn’t have done so eagerly otherwise and made a lot of closer friendships. I learned a lot about myself and gained a lot of independence. But I’m not gonna ramble on about all the benefits of it because you can find them everywhere. It was amazing, it really was, I’m just trying to tell you what everyone else seems to be avoiding.

‘So brown and so happy’ – my grans description of me travelling, May 2017

So after 3 countries, 13 flights, 19 airports, god knows how many beds/places I’ve fallen asleep, countless memories and laughter and just a few tears my travelling time came to an end. Today marks one month since my return to England and this post seems to be coming late but it took a lot of time everything sink in. This post is going to be relatively short but I just want to put an appreciation post out there about my experiences.

I know how ridiculously lucky I am. I know that I have had a once in a life time unbelievable experience. My heart is so full and I am so grateful for everything that I have done. I don’t want anyone to think for a second that I have taken all of this for granted. The experiences I’ve had have been absolutely incredible. They have changed my perspective on things and made me look at life differently. I can honestly say that I have returned from this trip a different person. I know that a cliché thing to say but seriously, it would be weird if all these crazy experiences, travelling alone, volunteering and meeting so many different amazing people hadn’t changed me! I am the happiest I’ve ever been. I have a clearer picture of what I want and what I want to achieve but I also have learnt to enjoy everything in the moment, not always being like, oh, I can’t wait for this part of my life to start. Of course, I still look forward to stuff and get excited about the future but definitely not overlook what’s going on around me now. I used to panic about absolutely everything but now, I’m a lot calmer and I deal with problems a lot better. I also like to believe I’ve become more compassionate and more understanding towards others and empathise with their problems more. But also I have learnt that it is ok to be selfish sometimes and to take time to look after myself, which was never really a priority for me before.

But I wouldn’t have been able to have any of these experiences or grow as a person at all if it weren’t for all of the incredible people that I met along the way. You made it what it was and, I want to thank each and every one of you. My heart is so full and I am so grateful. From my volunteering buddies who I got extremely close to even after a few days, I will never forget, to the guys I met in hostels all over Australia, to people I met on tours, trips, even the people who helped me when I was lost and didn’t even know their names. Thank you to all of you. There is so much love in this world and travellers share the most of it. Everyone wants to help each other, even though everyone’s in the same boat of poor-ness and worry. You guys are some of the best people I have ever met and the people who have the most love in their hearts. I love you all.

From Broome to Darwin, exploring the Northern Territory 

Picking up where I left off last week, and carrying on my Australian adventure; when my time in Perth was over I headed to Broome, which honestly, was great but so tiny. I only spent two nights there and that was enough. I did go to the world oldest open air cinema, something that I’d always wanted to do which was great. The building was still all original and it had the original style deckchairs and I watched ‘Beauty and the Beast’ under the stars. The town was cute, there and some shops and a few small independent art galleries in which the artists were still doing their work. I love exploring new artists and supporting them. And I saw the most incredible sunset. I was to see many sunsets and sunrises in my time travelling but honestly, this one was by far the best. The sky was perfectly clear and there were about five or six colours streaked across it, and then came my absolute favourite time of night, when you can still see part of the sunset on the horizon but the sky has also started to blacken and the stars have begun to come out. Honestly, beautiful. The friends I made there were the best. Took me under their wing the first hour I got there and essentially looked after me haha. Took me round places with them in their van, we had BBQs. Watched sunsets, had drinks and made friends for life. It was fantastic.After that I went to Darwin. Well, that was crazy. I of course, checked into the main party hostel and was so happy I did. Within 2 hours of landing, I was drunk of my ass with a group of crazy girls I’ve never met before and had the time of my life. They were mad and I had so much fun, spent a lot of money and got wasted. But the guys I met did this every night, and a lot of them were on working holiday visas. To me it looked like a working holiday visa was working shit jobs, for shit money, to spend it all on alcohol, to be hungover in bed that day, to go to back to work, to do it all again. I asked some of them how long they’d been in Australia and some answered about six months. I said, oh how much travelling have you done? They would reply none because they haven’t got any money, even though they work everyday. It all went on alcohol. $9 a shot. It made me see that I would probably never do a working holiday but I would just go back to do a tourist visa like I did before. I’m sure there are loads that love it and that a working holiday visa is something that would be perfect for them but just not for me. It seemed like it was not all the Australian traveller dream is cracked up to be!

Anyway, I had a great time in Darwin, there’s quite a bit to do! I went to the Litchfield National Park which was incredible, I love getting into nature and exploring new places so this was definitely one of my favourite things to do! I swam in waterfalls and explored new nature, I loved it. I went on a jumping crocodile tour and they leaped out of the water and wiggled like a salmon to get the meat which was awesome. I also swam with a crocodile which was absolutely terrifying but ya know, when in Rome! That was actually my attitude to pretty much everything that I saw the opportunity to do. If I was ever on the fence about doing something, I was like, when am I going to be here again and have this opportunity. Made me do things I’m not sure I’d have done otherwise!

Bit of a short one but next time will be the beginning of my East Coast adventure when my bestie came out to join me so watch this space!

 

 

if you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today?

This post is going to be one that, I’m sorry, is slightly philosophical… but also one of the most important things that I think I will ever write and I’m just gonna dive straight in; ask yourself, if you were going to die tomorrow, what would you do today? And by that, I don’t mean, not turn up to work.

What I do mean is, first of all, don’t go to bed mad with people you could make up with, they could be gone tomorrow… If there is anyone that you wouldn’t want to die without making up with, sort it out now. We don’t know what life is going to throw at us, we could all die tomorrow. You could literally walk out your front door, cross the road and get hit by a bus. I know that sounds dark and pessimistic but it’s true.

That friend who you argued with the other week and still haven’t made up with, that guy you used to be friends with, tried dating and now it’s weird, just sort it out. Talk to them, even just one conversation could make you feel so much better.

Which brings me to my second point, do not have bad blood. It is toxic and will seriously get you down and be a huge negative impact on your life. If you reconcile with those who you have bad blood with, discuss your problems and do not leave things without sorting them out, it will make you feel so much better. You may not even realise that it’s weighing you down but our lives are so busy and what we do is so time consuming, we rarely have time to think long and hard about what may be negatively impacting our lives and moods.

Even while saying this, I understand that there are some things that can’t be reconciled. If feel totally ok even though there are problems between you and someone and you would be totally ok without reconciling with them before you die, then fine. But I stand by what I said, bad blood is toxic and dealing with this will lift a weight you didn’t even know existed.

On a similar but slightly different point, if there is someone that you are in love with or even have feelings for, for the love of God literally just tell them! This links to another post I’m going to write about relationships so watch this space.

Then, if you love someone, tell them. I see so often that people say, ‘oh I have been in love with [insert name here followed by hopeless sigh] for [insert insanely long time]’. If you love someone, and you haven’t told them the most likely reason is that you’re scared of rejection. If they turn you down or say that they don’t reciprocate your feelings, then yeah, it’s going to be really rough for a while. But then at least you know! Not knowing and living in a constant stasis of limbo is going to be even more destroying than the pain of rejection. Then you can move on with your life, time heals all wounds, and you will be annoyed at yourself for waiting so long to address the problem! You will feel so much better, a weight will have been lifted that you didn’t even know that was there. For your own sake, just do it!

Be happy, love life, spread the love and release the hate.